Family Bliss

Study Question:

1. What are some of the problems(fun and not so fun) that arise in your family relationships because you can’t control you wife, or kids, or other family members?
2. What are some things(fun and not so fun) your wife, and kids, and other family member wish they could control of you because of the issues YOU cause in those relationships?
3. Read Ephesians 5:21-6:4. It’s easy to read this passage and point to what OTHERS are supposed to do to make our lives better.  What does this passage call us men to be about as we seek to INFLUENCE the family around us?
4. Zack and I talked about a few possible practical things we can do to allow our faith to influence our family dynamics. What are some things that you have tried to influence your family?  What are some other practical possibilities?
5. How does Philippians 2:1-12 lend itself to you influencing your family if you allow it to guide your actions in this next week?
6. If you could paint the picture of a God honoring family dynamic in your home and extended family, what would that picture look like? What practical steps in the next several weeks will you make to help influence your family towards that picture?

We are in the third week of our Holy Man journey, and it has been fun to hear some of the conversations that have happened in your life groups as we all wrestle with the topics I have been bringing up.  Can you imagine when all of us men who are looking for God to help us on this journey of becoming Holy Men, actually start to make progress on that journey?!  God be the glory as that continues to happen.

And I do apologize for the sound quality last week.  We are still learning this podcast thing, and hopefully we will continue to get things better for you.

This week I am bringing up another relevant topic for us men.  And I say that because of the number of conversations I have had with many of you on this topic.  And again, it’s a topic that plays right into the theme of these opening 8 weeks of the podcast I have titled Control versus Influence.  We can’t control everything in our lives, but, how can our faith influence things around us for our betterment in life, and the betterment of those around us.

Today, we will be looking into our family dynamics as we long for bliss within our families, no matter what your family looks like.  We would love ongoing joy and peace within our families, but as we know, we cant control things within our families.  If you are married, how good are you at controlling your wife?  if you have kids, what about them? Parents?  inlaws?  Other extended family?  You see where I am goin?  We cant control our family members.  But…can we influence them to help there to be more bliss within our homes, and within our families? That will be our conversation today. 

Also, to add some extra fun to the conversation, I also have brought in a special guest to help us to think things through a little. He is an expert on our subject for today.   Zack Poitra is with me today, and Zack is on staff here at New Life leading our hospitality team, and also leading the Blessings in a Backpack ministry for the kids in the community.  Zack, it is good to have you with me today.

Zack, tell me about your family dynamics.  Who is in your family?

And for those who don’t know my family…

Zack, our wives know what we are talking about today, so we will need to tread a little lightly and carefully or we might be on the couch this week.

Zack, you know the premise of the theme of this podcast which is us as men, not being able to control life around us, the people, the circumstances of life, there is much we can’t control.  We would like to, but we can’t…, but can we influence life around us with our faith.

So, in regards to your family, tell me a little about your lack of control of your family as you understand it.

Wives:  Quirks.  Putting gas in cars.  Women wanting to talk to us, but not have us fix it.  Just listen.  Different ideas how things should work, like parenting. 

Kids:    follow through.  Obedience.  Friends.  College…

Extended family:  my inlaws who help us with childcare are leaving this week for Hawaii for 2 weeks.  Why cant they behave the way we want?

So, we can both agree, we cannot control our family

So, if we are growing to become holy men?  If we are allowing the HS to empower us to be Godly husbands and dads and family men.  Lets talk a little how we might influence the family who we can’t control to hopefully lead our homes and families to be more peace and joy filled places to be.

Zack, do you have any specific ways that you do this?

Any bible verses that help guide you?

Live it.  We cant expect others to live it, if we aren’t.

1 Thes 2:10-12

¹⁰ You yourselves are our witnesses—and so is God—that we were devout and honest and faultless toward all of you believers. ¹¹ And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. ¹² We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you to share in his Kingdom and glory.

Humbly ask how you can be a better husband and dad.

Phil 2

 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? ² Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.

³ Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. ⁴ Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.

⁵ You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.

If I do that, how might they respond?  Not that their response should be my goal, but me being a better husband and dad should be the goal.

Ask for forgiveness.

Zack, have you ever messed up?  Have you ever gotten it wrong?  How important is asking for forgiveness?

Set family goals.

Phil 3 – I press on